thefingerfucker:

Like that time I came out as Hispanic

(Source: equiuszahhak)

uh-lex-is-reed:

No, they can’t. If they did, then there wouldn’t be such a high divorce rate.

Yes they can. Girls have the right to where whatever they please. And lingerie pleases men.

(Source: -emoore)

uh-lex-is-reed:

-emoore:

uh-lex-is-reed:

Our sexiness can’t be put into cow-form.

What if we wore lingerie?

Isn’t it illegal for me to wear lingerie? Married women can’t look sexy.

Yes they can. That’s how they got married.

uh-lex-is-reed:

Our sexiness can’t be put into cow-form.

What if we wore lingerie?

(Source: -emoore)

uh-lex-is-reed:

Meh. The cows will then pour syrup all of us, and then eat us.

Can we be reborn as cows?

(Source: -emoore)

uh-lex-is-reed:

But, if I slip out of your arms, we’re both screwed. We’ll turn into sexy pancakes.

… at least we’d be sexy.

(Source: -emoore)

uh-lex-is-reed:

Fiiiiine. But, if we die, I’m blaming it on you.

We don’t die! I can fly, remember?

(Source: -emoore)

uh-lex-is-reed:

Ha. No. We’ll die, and be the first pair of ghosts that Brooks will ever have.

But I thought I was The Little Vampire.

(Source: -emoore)

uh-lex-is-reed:

Only when I’m in your arms.

Let’s go jump on a blimp.

(Source: -emoore)

uh-lex-is-reed:

Exactly like The Little Vampire!

Does that mean I can fly!?

(Source: -emoore)